Larry Dugger's Poems


A Spiritual Journeying
By Larry Dugger

My spiritual journeying poem
Began as a young child, I was loved at home
No I wasn't
Would the path through life be easier?
With the weather more sunny less breezier
Always stormy
Shattered young, tortured, abused by some
Began an unresolved quest for safe and numb
Mistaken child
Abandoned when most vulnerable
It must be me unworthy, unlovable
Awkward young boy
Christianity's an obscured grace
Seeking while blind to reveal the creator's face
One's agony
Taught one way but I see another
Jesus's words were guiding, like a brother's
No one listens
Answered prayer to leave the orphanage
Seeking love, freedom from the abandoned cage
Father still blind
Young man's search leads me into a maze
Once obscured in the clouds of a drug fueled haze
Another lost
Meditations quiet my rambling mind
A clearer path glimpsed but I don't take the time
Samadhi waits
Fear's grasp a palpable gravity
It hinders my soul's flight and life's charity
Others free me
Easy answers to life's quandaries
May have coupled themselves within catholic rosaries
But there were thorns
Am I living on a razor's edge?
Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva dancing in my head
The surface appearances have taught
Beauty is truly within and must be sought
By shedding lies
Once I trained to serve our country dear
While serving I was schooled and that goal was clear
Weapons of fear
The kaleidoscope of hide and seek
The wonders of beauty and ugly so deep
Where's my rudder
I was alone, by chance graced by love
A sweet dear lady sent to me as a dove
With haughty willfulness I persist
My epitaph here in lays a foolish twist
Blind as father
One search was fruitless almost deadly
Another twisted, broke, mangled my family
Dis-eased human
My disease erupts with temptation
Hidden in darkness, clinging self-destruction
Self ignor-ance
A pound of punishment and regret
My disfigured ego loses an ultimate bet
I awaken
To wear a scarlet letter you see
Human mark of frailty and fragility
All wear letters
Self-abasement and self-disgracing
Enlighten is disease sickness displacing
Choice recreates
Hidden in plain sight is salvation
Truth's lesson is a twisted revelation
All is one
Tao is not graspable, not doing
It is truly the universe that's I-ing
Water course way
Siddartha, I live the middle way
Blessing to serve, and be served each fruitful day
Satori waits
Love, hate, free will, fate, consecrate, bind
Subtle creative forces that is our mind
Unstructured time
My soul unfolds through light and dark mist
Love by your unhindered bloom have I been kissed
I am on fire
To accept the present moments gift
Kaleidoscopes of fragrant colors do lift
Flowers, life's bliss
Within the present that seed still grows
Tossed between moments glimpsed, a surfacing soul
To breathe heaven
Music has been a good friend to me
No religion of music, but there should be
It unfolds hearts
Here I have heaven within without
But only if I choose not to cling about
Let go, let go
With the next right choice shame is replaced
With time old wounds each day with grace
Between what is and what I believe
There lays great propensity to self-deceive
But only me
Petals from the same flower we're blessed
Unfolding within each other's consciousness
UU's you see?

"A Spiritual Journeying," Copyright © 2013 by Larry Dugger
Posted April 13, 2013

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Ode to 28 Angels
By Larry Dugger

Mom, I can't get there
Without ten others to carry me
If they are small, maybe twenty
The math's simple. Can't you see?
With this calculus I am free.

His blindness dooms us
It will cloud his soul from thoughts anew
Without internal light to guide
His sickness distorts the view
In a raw evil… all will lose.

Gun shots in the school?
My dread surrounds a dark pool of fear
Blind, but in charge I take a risk
A monster is lurking near,
More than nightmare to children dear.

He plays out a game
He is consumed in a senseless task
He knows nothing of sacrifice
Your part is not a request
Lacking mercy he will not ask.

I am late children
My attempt is lost in midstride drop
Risk yields to powerlessness
The monster I cannot stop
Darkness, my body… just a prop.

A moment fractured
A tortured soul warps life's grace
A prayer seeks those gone from our grasp
A travesty, yields death's embrace
A hateful blossom… where's loves' trace?

Fractures prevented
Hidden in our coalesce
It is together we become whole
Isolationists will obsess
To heal disease coalesce.

"Ode to 28 Angels," Copyright c 2013 by Larry Dugger
Posted January 2, 2013

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